I'm On My Feet, I'm On The Floor, I'm Good To Go.

Are you gonna waste your time?
No, I'm not.
Then what are you doing?
Focusing. I have to focus for this to work.
For what to work?
Never mind that. I just need to focus.



Sometimes I realize just how different I am. Or maybe it's just how similar everyone else is.

Forget the hype, and the words. It's all fashion.
I think I love the word fashion as much as I loathe the word circumstance.


I need something to make this real. Though it might already be there, and I'm just to blind to notice it. Wouldn't be the first time.


Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and on and on. Cycles of repeating patterns, numbers, letters, fractalized shapes and colors. No matter how much I enjoy chaos, I still need a bit of order.

I had another perfect moment. What's that line? 'The most perfection anyone can hope for is a moment.' I need to sit in that eternal self-made palm. I'm not thinking of vampires, and I certainly don't want to live forever.

But is it such a crime to want to live, period? I don't need neverending hapiness, I don't need perfection or anything like that. Perfection can only exist amidst imperfection, so if everything is always perfect, then it's really quite the opposite.

I know when you look at me in that certain way, it'll be all over. And no matter how much I claim it hasn't already happened, I'm pretty sure it has.

I think this time I really did create something out of nothing. And I didn't even try. Which is why it's so much more important. It's not a synthetic thing; it was natural. Ebb and flow.

There's no point in turning to face it, because I'm always surrounded by it.

All my old patterns seem to be breaking, only to be replaced by new, foreign ones. I'm not sure I know how to feel about that.

Good things come to those who wait. Or so it's claimed. So the longer one waits, the better things that will come, correct? I think that's right.

If I can put this much trust into a person...no, that's not right. If I can put this much trust into you, it must mean something. I don't trust easily, not anymore. So that makes it all the more important.

I'm not waiting. I'm focusing.
I'm not wasting. I'm realizing.

These past few weeks have been very reflective and eye-opening. That's how I know I'm not wasting.

I still don't believe in fate, I don't think. But I believe in...something. Maybe that was all I needed.

Fashion is not a bad thing. But I'm glad I've cut back on it.

I guess I have to figure out now what replaces fashion.

Though I think I already know.
It's half a world away, a day ahead into the future. And a big risk.
But I know. Unlike the you's of the past, you're not a bauble or a trinket. You're not fashion, you're not some distraction or a second-thought or a maybe-but-I'm-not-sure.

You're a possible future. One that I'm more than willing to wait for.

And more importantly, one I'm willing to change for.