What would Jesus NOT do?

I bought some diamons the other day. For my girlfriend. One year anniversary, blah blah, no one cares. It amazes me how much easier it is to deal with jewelers when you actually know what you want to buy. I tried to go into a couple different places around Christmastime, and all of my interactions went vaguely along these lines:

Jeweler: FRESH MEAT! -unholy howl from beyond-
Me: Uhm..yeah, how much does this cost?
Jeweler: Oh, that's a beautiful piece, it's all natural, non-altered semi-precious gemstone. This is a piece that she will cherish for a lifetime. So beautiful, isn't it?
Me: Yeah, but how much?
Jeweler: Oh, only $599.99.
Me: Thanks for your help, but I'm just looking right now.
Jeweler: NO OH GOD PLEASE COME BACK I NEED THIS COMISSION TO FEED MY CHILDREN.

..Yeah. Instead, with knowing what I wanted, it was in and out in less than fifteen minutes. From now on, I'm figuring out what the hell I want ahead of time.

I hate shopping anyways. If I had a credit card I could use on a regular basis and enough money, I'd just do all my shopping from home. It's not that I hate the ACT of shopping..it's more the trouble involved with the act. Wading through oceans of people, Dealing with store clerks who either don't care you exist or will not leave you alone no matter how many thousands of dollars you throw down in their store. Oh, and let's not forget the stupid teeny-bopper wannabe-goth mallrat kids. What happened to Kevin Smith's Mallrats? Quirky, independent, free-thinking kids, instead of smarmy goth-kids who have nothing better to do but hang out at the arcade talking about how much the cops suck.

Wait, I changed my mind. I don't hate shopping. I hate the mall.