Actually He's Been In A Dream.

This is an odd sensation. I'm feeling very creative, but I can't quite seem to find the right outlet to project that creativity.

Going through motions. Trying all of this once more. It might be a mistake, but I might as well give it a shot. If it is the deep sea, I just might see you there. Except for my fear of water. Maybe I'll build a submarine.

Become sweet maggots for me, please. Decompose and rot away. Let me forget that you exist, that I existed, in that point of time; that any semblance of a 'we' ever existed. I don't like to think about it, yet sometimes I just can't escape it

Tiny bubbles. Floating and fluttering away, popping without a single moment's notice. Out of the blue, all of a sudden, unexpectedly, without warning, without notice, going unnoticed, going, going, gone, dissappear, vanish, unexist, existential, primordial, precursor, retracted, rendition, pre-rendered, relapsing, preposterous, ludicrous, ideal, insane, slay, rebuttal, portioning, flagellate, insipid, insignificant, potentional, portrayal, indecisive, redefine, reitterate, illiterate, launder, barricade, barter, retread, retrain, transcend, decent, deflate, debilitating, ability, abnormality, toured, bored, board, bread, bead, bean, blare, circle cycle seminal flagrant boisterous cacophony rewind frontal review abyssmal apocalyptic redundant glaring scaring herring fearing tearing weary nuance vector vortex slipped slain sleigh sleuth pitiful remaining refuse refuge geared gained grate great grit greet grain grow green stormed tempest lacking.

Slipping and sliding along this line, feeling it all come apart; and yet, come together at the same time. There is a beginning in all of this; all of this nothing and meaninglessness and lack of motivation is going to lead to where I should be, where I need to be. Hopefully I'll find it before the chaos I so love turns on me.

I Think We've Met Once Before, You And I.

This is so stupid. What does it matter anyways?


Perfect
Leeeeeeeeeeee
Fine
As always, just keep on
Staring ahead
Pay me no
Mind, nevermind the
Payment
Losing my grip and
My grip is getting loose
Looking right into my
Own misfortunes and misgivings
But never taking them for face value
So foolish, so
Simple and
So out of sync with the rest of
Reality
What a funny word.

I Need You To Have The Strength Of Widows And Sole Survivors.

I will 'be a jerk and ignore you' as much as I please, thank you very much.


Desperation desperation. I need to stop being so fucking stupid. I'm stressing and worrying over things that don't even exist, that won't even exist. Things don't work that way, they never do.

It's so stupid how petty things can affect me so much. (Note: this doesn't have anything to do with anything that has happened this weekend, in terms of time spent/cut short in Seattle.) None of this crap matters, and it's not going to. I wish it would, but it won't, and things are just as simple as that.

That was a nice glimmer of hope. The keyword there being 'was'. Ah well.



Welcome to the Doldrums.

Let The Sweat Drop.

Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU.

That isn't me anymore, so stop fucking acting like it is. You said yourself that we both have our own lives to live, so stop treating me like my life is still you.

Because it fucking isn't.

It isn't my job to pick up the pieces anymore. You claim to know this, yet you still come to me. THIS ISN'T MY JOB.

So please just leave me the hell out of this. Tehse are YOUR problems, now. Not OUR problems, and definitely not MY problems. So lay off.

You try to guilt me all the time. I used to think you weren't aware of it. But now I know that you're PERFECTLY aware of it, and just don't see anything wrong with it.

Just leave me the hell alone. You're not going to interrupt the rest of my life like this.