Crave.

Maybe we'll meet again.
But it will never be the same.
A mistake, on my part.
And on on yours, too, I think.

Twenty-twenty-twenty-twenty.


Looking back is so pointless. Another wasted moments on things that already happened, things that only make me feel bad.


You just might have been the one, too.
Though now I'll never know.

They all float, and I sink. Down here.
It was wrong. At least in my case.

Push things forward.
Three hours and fourteen minutes.
Blink blink blink.



I'll never know something like that again, I fear.
And I've no one to blame but myself.
As always.



I think you're right, my darling.
Actually no, I take that back.
Maybe we got it mixed up.
I don't feel.
Just break.

Fetterstone.

Let's sing this disenchanted melody.
Notes fall and so do stars.
Humming along until the world burns out completely.
Always humming along.

Pursue in reverse, featherlight touches mean nothing.
The heaviest words mean nothing.
But only heavy to me.


Basic sound.
Basic.
This is.
Basic.


Crushing and ripping, relinquishing control.
Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing.
Forget to remember.
Or maybe remember to forget.
I can't quite recall.

Filter out the sounds
Feel the pulse.
Throb, throb, throb, throb.
THROB.
Decompress and realize.

Swifter than I, more organized than I.
Always more.
Or less.



Static static staticstaticstatic.
Enveloped and consumed, pursuing pathways unknown.
Unwanted.
Ignored.
Clandestine and arcane.




Change.
No such thing.
But it's everything.

Just Abandoned My-Self.

Let's get. Let's get. Let's-let's-let's get.

Two two two two two two two two two two.


Can't, won't, and shouldn't. I hate those words. Ah circumstance.


There's no peace, in anything. Even in my head, anymore. Even with the static and noise and clicks and screeches and beeps. The only time I feel anything even close to peace is when my head decompresses.


I wish I could make sense to someone.

That someone could take that first step, instead of it always being me. Whenever I do it I just mess things up. Or have bad timing. Or just choose the wrong person.

So please, just once, can't someone take that first step?



I'll never make sense, though. Not to anyone.

Unstable in so many ways. Not as though it really matters. Stability tends to come with happiness, doesn't it? So it all makes sense. Except me.


Keys and keys and keys and keys.

I wish I knew. I wish I could decompress it all. Or better yet, rearrange it all, just like I do everything else.

It's warm. But I bet you're warmer. Not that I'll ever know.


Maybe a sun-baked snow cave wouldn't be so bad right now.

Tomorrow Is Six Months Away.

I didn't dream of you last night. (Or maybe I did; I never remember my dreams.)
But I do wish these dream comes true.


Play the game.
Play the game.
Play the game.

Why don't you?

Bitter, biting cold. But this brings me warmth. This, and that.
And you. I hope.


Maybe later.



Rise tonight. Slowly. I wish I wish I wish I WISH.


Close eyes slowly. Hold. Deep breath. Calm for a moment, but never any more. Overcome.

Miles away. You. Are. Miles. Away.
Miles and miles and miles away. I would walk, though.


Cryptic and symbolic, cut to pieces and rearranged into a more fitting description.


Catch on fire.
Still burning.
Catch on fire.
Still burning.

This is important. More important.


Patience is a virtue. One I have, but loathe. I don't want to be patient, I don't want to hope. It only leads to disappointment.

But here I am, all the same.


Dizzying at times, who knows why. Close eyes slowly. Breathe deep. The wave hits me suddenly and is gone in the same moment. Frail movements, slight sickness and lack of control.

Control control control. I won't. And I will. Just depends on who, when, where, and what. But not you. You are your own.

Take my hand.
It's better now together.



We'll raise our glass, now there's nothing left.


Your eyes are incandescent. And oh, how I love that glow.




I could go on for miles and miles and miles. I just wish I could tell you in person.