Heard it through the grapevine.

Lately I've been so..malcontent. Not oh-god-the-sorrow-I-feel-blackens-my-heart-I-am-so-misunderstood gothic malcontent, simply..restless. Something is amiss in my simple little world. Maybe it's because I feel the need to get back into school, but I'm nervous about really trying to pursue anything beyong writing. Maybe it's the fact that I hate my job and wish I had a way out, but would feel guilty quitting when I just got promoted. Or maybe it's just the dwindling amount of spontanaeity in my life.

Something.

Whenever I'm just sitting around, not really doing anything..I feel it. This bitter, biting cold inside me. Telling me that I need to make some sort of a change. I just wish I could figure out what that change is so I could move beyond it and continue on in being myself.

My patience wears thin for life in general. Everything is just so..dull. I want to go out and do something crazy, something outlandish. But there's so many things restraining me, and I can't just jump out the window and say fuck it. It isn't if only the simplicity matched the appeal.

Maybe I just need to move out. Hopefully Eazy, Natrix and I will be able to find someplace to live together for a reasonable price. I think getting out of my parents environment and into one that suits me a little better would be a big step in the right direction, whichever one that is.


Divining rods to the ground in search of the fluid for change.