I Will Not Fade.

New year, fresh start. At least, that's how it should be.

And yet, I'm left with these same old feelings and insecurities, that same old down-in-the-dumps sensation that seems to never let go, no matter how hopeful and happy things may be.

Hearing your voice, even for that split second, was the last thing I wanted to hear fifteen minutes into the new year. Amazing how easily we can think we forget about something, only to receive the slightest reminder and be shocked right back to Earth.



It's all so pointless though. If I can just be with you, be in your arms, hear your voice...I know I've said it hundred of times already, and I probably say it a hundred more, but I just know once I'm there, everything will fall into place.

I just have to keep pushing until i reach that day, until I don't have to hope, until I can KNOW and FEEL and BE...


The most simplistic verbs create the most intricate sensations. Funny how that works.


Know. Feel. Be. See. Hear. That's all I need. All the nouns, pronouns, adjectives and articles are irrelevant. You and I both know what each of those verbs means. I don't need anything beyond those five words.


I need to get away from this path of mechanical sin, and back towards the way of soft skin. I never have been an empty machine, though I know I got close.

So now, mechanical hand, you were fun for awhile. But now I'm going going going to go and get...

Nah, not that. But I am going to go. I don't need you anymore. I need you like I need all that fashion like I need another bout of paranoia and insecurity. I'm done with all of that. All. Of. It.


New year, fresh start. No hoping that it's going to be better; I know it will be.

Know-Feel-Be-See-Hear.

Just wait and see.