O Captain, My Captain.

Still can't fall asleep.

Spinning

and

Turning

and

Failing.

Good god motherfucker now I see you're

Flailing

Away.

The ice is getting thinner

Under me

But not under you.

We're not the same

Dear

As we used to

Be

There really is little for me to say.

Even though my head is swimming.

There was a time

I was full of

Hope and

Optimism

But these days

Oh, these days

There's nothing left for me

To hold on to

So now I just

Bide my

Time

Wandering and

Searching

For something

Clean and

Pure

But I feel as though

It will never be found

In all my days and weeks

And months

And

Years

The chasm has reared it's

Ugly head once again

As I peer down

Inside it

I come to the

Stark

Realization

That this chasm

This dark

Black thing

Is all I've ever known

And all I'll ever

See

It's burning up in here

Even though both sides of the bed are cold.

Maybe it's me that's burning up.

Re-entering the atmosphere.

My shields were down, after all.

Burning up

Into

A

Charred husk

Of what I once was.

This isn't about you.

This is about me, and all the mistakes I've made.

All the promises I've broken.

And all the faults I hold so dear.

It's about self-worth

Self-absorption

self-image.

Self. Myself. Yourself. Ourselves.

Selves and shelves.

I've already shelved myself.